Pondering at 60

Pastoral Pondering
by Pastor Keith Larson

Over the years, birthdays have come and birthdays have gone. I have had a few significant birthday parties planned by my wife over years, and as a child planned by my mother. My family members have always remembered me and many church members remember me in various ways. But for the most part, I have not paid lots of attention to birthdays as far as reflecting on them, neither dreading them nor eagerly anticipating them (at least not since childhood).

But as I approach my 60th birthday next week I have found myself being more reflective than in the past. I realize I need to think of myself in different terms. I can no longer think of myself as a young person, or even very middle middle-aged. (See, I want to still hang on to the term a while longer.) I know “you are as old as you feel.” But some days I do not feel very young any more. As some friends prepare to move, I contemplated helping them move, but reminded myself I had better be careful what I offer, so told them that I thought my all-day-long furniture-toting days were mostly behind and I would be more helpful standing in the moving van with my tape measure saying, “Bring me something 20x10x10”. While still willing to try most anything once, I find that I “pay for it” later. I have just spent close to 20 hours in the last weeks, on my hands and knees, installing hardwood flooring. I really feel it in my knees, hips, shoulders – well all over. And while most foods look yummy, I have learned to pace myself and to be selective, especially in the evening so as not to keep Ginger awake all night with my burping and belching.

We all age. It is a part of life. Years ago, my internship supervisor used to say that we are all born with a terminal disease. From birth, we begin moving towards death. (Well he said it a few times. He generally was not that gloomy). But as we move through life, we move through many successive stages, each of which has its many joys, blessings as well as challenges. We do not necessarily have to enjoy all of the challenges of every stage of life, but life is so much better for us and for those around us, when we can be accepting of the stage we are. We all recognize in a minute those persons who cannot accept their life stage and make fools of themselves trying to act much younger or much older than they actually are.

This year as I have been a bit more pensive in anticipating my birthday, we were once again confronted with a well-meaning, faithful, but somewhat misguided person predicting quite sincerely the end of the ages in what some Christians believe will be an event called the rapture. While not wishing to be too mocking or joking of what someone considers so important, I was naturally very skeptical and quite unconcerned. While I have not doubted that at some point there will be an end of life, as we know it, I have always thought of that time as being more individual than communal. As I turn 60, I recognize I have a lot less years ahead of me than I have behind me. Yet, I feel like I have always lived to make each day count in some way, able to go to sleep at night without regrets, or at least without too many of them. So whether the world ends in some sort of a rapture moment, or whether it ends like for so many in these past months because of the destruction caused by tornadoes, earthquakes or tidal waves, or whether it ends by simply “passing in one’s sleep”, it will end. And with each passing birthday, we each statistically get closer to that event. But as one reborn a child of God and marked with the cross of Christ forever, it is of no consequence, and I can celebrate another birthday (even though I don’t have to like the creaky achy knees.)